Take Off Your Headphones
I love my Apple AirPod Pros. They are an awesome way to drown out Chicago's busy street noise. A must for working out. The best way to take calls. And so comfortable that I can wear them the entire day without realizing I have them in. There is only one major drawback. It tells others you’re not interested in fleeting conversations.
What’s a fleeting conversation? It’s that brief unplanned conversation you have with strangers. The neighbor as you leave your place, the clerk at the grocery store, or that coworker in the other cubicle.
You might be thinking those are all the interactions you are trying to avoid! Small talk is awkward and a waste of time. I use to feel the same way until I read more about the positive effects of these interactions and reviewed my own personal experiences.
The research shows that these types of interactions, fleeting moments of connection boost mood. One study had patrons engage in a conversation with the barista at a local coffee shop. The other had bus commuters interact with fellow passengers. In both cases, people underestimated how positive the interaction ended up being.
Why aren't we all engaged in these types of conversations? The negativity bias. We tend to remember the negative over the positive. The annoying guy on the flight that wouldn't shut up is remembered. The positive exchange with the grocery clerk is forgotten.
My own anecdotal evidence agrees with these findings. I recently chatted with a new neighbor during the 90-second elevator ride. We were both new to the building and expressed our excitement about the rooftop. As I walked off the elevator, I noticed a small boost in my mood.
I don't want to oversell it but sometimes the minor things in life, snowball into the big things. Have more of these kinds of interactions. Especially as the world has evolved to make us less connected.
The first thing to do is to take off the headphones. Not always but in circumstances where a fleeting conversation is likely to happen.
Here is what I am doing...
I moved to a 60-unit apartment building and often see my neighbors (and their cute dogs). My AirPods are out of my ears while leaving and entering the building. With this simple modification, I’ve had more interactions like the one I mentioned earlier.
When I enter my gym, I always give a brief smile and say “hi, how are you?” to whoever is at the counter checking me in. I’ve noticed them saying to me “Have a good workout”. Not sure if it is my greeting or if they always said it and I couldn't hear it with my headphones on.
I am smiling more. Strangers engage with those that look welcoming. This comes from someone who never smiles by default. It's not resting bitch face, but it's not inviting. I hate forcing a smile, so I genuinely think of something funny that brings out a real smile.
What do you think? Are you still allergic to the idea of conversations with strangers? Hit the <reply> button and let me know.
🌟 My Favorite Ideas
A few of my favorite ideas from a book/podcast/article I consumed recently
📝 Article - 99 Additional Bits of Unsolicited Advice
Packed with short but dense pieces of advice on living. Here are my three favorites.
What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. At your funeral people will not recall what you did; they will only remember how you made them feel.
You are only as young as the last time you changed your mind.
Most overnight successes — in fact any significant successes — take at least 5 years. Budget your life accordingly.
🎥 Video Nick Bare's Marathon Training Series
I've been immersed in how to be a better runner. This video series is about Nick Bare's journey to run the Buffalo, NY Marathon in under 2 hours and 50 minutes. Lots of tips and advice regardless of skill level.
As always, thank you for reading.
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Irfan
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